2007-05-17
Square One.
Things with the Cute Neighbor Boy progressed. It progressed past the smile-and-wave to small talk. The small talk progressed into long talk, conversations that would last hours and leave me grinning afterward. The long talks progressed to me asking him out for a drink, and the drink turned into multiple drinks when progressed into kissing him and spending (a sex-free) night at his place. That progressed into a conversation about "the other night" and his decision not to start anything because he already has an ex living in the building and he's moving to Germany in the fall.
I moved right back to square one.
Even though the decision not to do anything is right in every practical way - why set up something that will most likely fail - the fact that I need to list all the reasons why it makes sense really makes me wonder if it is the best decision. I like him. Not just because he's cute, but because I feel so comfortable around him. I don't have to pretend to be a smarter version of me, or a sexier or more clever version, but I can be me - weird, sarcastic, dorky me - and it's ok. And the weird thing is, I think he likes me too. And even though there is a 99.9% that if anything does happen it will end badly it's that .1% that keeps kicking around in my brain and keeps me wondering.
I'm sure nothing more will happen. How can it when one person has already decided that they've reached the end? But I tried, I actually made a move rather than sitting back hoping for something to happen and, for one night at least, it worked out. And for now, that's enough for me. Of course, it has to be.
corin82 at 9:58 p.m.