2007-04-15
Catch-22
I was getting ready for bed the other night, mindlessly brushing my teeth, when I had the strangest of realizations: for the first time since puberty, I am not attracted to anyone.
It was an odd moment, I have to say. I've never been the boy-crazy type of girl, but it seems like I've always either been mourning a relationship that ended or pining away for one to start and now there's nothing like that taking up space in my mind. It's been ages since I've actually been in a relationship and any lingering feelings for the last guy I was with pretty much dissolved once I realized that the only love affair that was going on was between himself and the sound of his voice. And now there's....nothing.
I'm sure there are many good things I could be doing right now rather than thinking about how I'm not thinking about guys. I could go all Oprah and get all empowered and embrace my inner moon goddess or some bullshit. I could learn a foriegn language or actually balance my checkbook for the first time in history. I could save some blind, starving Cambodian orphans, or do whatever it is productive people do with their free time. Instead, I spend my time watching television shows and movies online and feeling a bit nostalgic for the times when I was yearning for someone, because I guess I'm not truly happy unless I'm miserable.
corin82 at 1:59 p.m.